Fact 1: NorCal, short for Northern California, is a place where the average teenager can't go a day without saying "hella".
Fact 2: Arcata is a town in Norcal that has only experienced snowfall an average of.... something you can count on your fingers.. in the last 10 years.
Having lived in this location for the majority of my life, I have the green light to say that last weekend was HELLA COLD. And you know what? I experienced a proper amount of snow for the first time in my entire life! Just like the chips/fries underneath the salt-enthusiast's dumping, our little Uleytown was absolutely smothered.
If you know me personally, you will often find me to be easily amused or very excitable. This also goes for my younger brother whom I blogishly address to my readers as "Bo". The only difference between Bo and I in these circumstances is that he is a few years younger, automatically granting his bouts of entertainment to occur more frequently and with much more endurance.
When it came time for the sprinkling to commence, I received a loud and crazed rapping on my bedroom door from Bo.
"Let's go make a Snowman!!!"
As usual I did not respond as that is the customary older sibling's duty. I heard a fair bit of frantic panting as that is what he does before giving up. Then he thumped madly downstairs.
-You may now picture me comically shrugging before continuing with my whatever I was doing.
Hours later, I make out the sound of an ebullient "hiyah!" and "schwang!" coming from the front yard. Now this was something I was going to have to investigate.
Little did I know that by simply stepping outside I was about to brave a two-in-one deal with death.
Immediately I was stunned by the sheer icy cold that I almost dropped dead right there. Second to that, an actual sword was swung inches from my face.
It turned out that my brother was at war with his own snowman who he had positioned on the bench beside our house.
The only explanation in this situation would be that my brother must have built what he considered to be a snowy master piece in the shape of a man...
...and after finishing, he must have gone out feeling triumphant about his work. This would justify the sword, as males like to carry dangerous entities around to increase the sensation of true manliness. Another common attribute of the male kind is forgetfulness, and so his creation must have vanished completely from his mind. He would have returned to what he must have considered then to be a pretentious, threatening monster after his family.
He probably thought it was his fate to destroy this apparent trespasser because he had happened to bring the sword out that day. And so the snowman thrashing ensued.
This is the only real understanding I can come to.
Fact 2: Arcata is a town in Norcal that has only experienced snowfall an average of.... something you can count on your fingers.. in the last 10 years.
Having lived in this location for the majority of my life, I have the green light to say that last weekend was HELLA COLD. And you know what? I experienced a proper amount of snow for the first time in my entire life! Just like the chips/fries underneath the salt-enthusiast's dumping, our little Uleytown was absolutely smothered.
If you know me personally, you will often find me to be easily amused or very excitable. This also goes for my younger brother whom I blogishly address to my readers as "Bo". The only difference between Bo and I in these circumstances is that he is a few years younger, automatically granting his bouts of entertainment to occur more frequently and with much more endurance.
When it came time for the sprinkling to commence, I received a loud and crazed rapping on my bedroom door from Bo.
"Let's go make a Snowman!!!"
As usual I did not respond as that is the customary older sibling's duty. I heard a fair bit of frantic panting as that is what he does before giving up. Then he thumped madly downstairs.
-You may now picture me comically shrugging before continuing with my whatever I was doing.
Hours later, I make out the sound of an ebullient "hiyah!" and "schwang!" coming from the front yard. Now this was something I was going to have to investigate.
Little did I know that by simply stepping outside I was about to brave a two-in-one deal with death.
Immediately I was stunned by the sheer icy cold that I almost dropped dead right there. Second to that, an actual sword was swung inches from my face.
It turned out that my brother was at war with his own snowman who he had positioned on the bench beside our house.
The only explanation in this situation would be that my brother must have built what he considered to be a snowy master piece in the shape of a man...
...and after finishing, he must have gone out feeling triumphant about his work. This would justify the sword, as males like to carry dangerous entities around to increase the sensation of true manliness. Another common attribute of the male kind is forgetfulness, and so his creation must have vanished completely from his mind. He would have returned to what he must have considered then to be a pretentious, threatening monster after his family.
He probably thought it was his fate to destroy this apparent trespasser because he had happened to bring the sword out that day. And so the snowman thrashing ensued.
This is the only real understanding I can come to.
